What Is Next O' Lord?

This is a crazy time in my life. By all means I should be scared shitless, angry that my work at home plans did not prevail, and exhausted from overwork and other unimaginable stressful situations that I do not care to dwell on. But the truth is, I am fairly energized, and oddly hopeful and anxious to see what The Universe has in store for me next.

Tomorrow I do have a day off and the biggest part of my day is going to be sitting down with my boys and figuring out how we can organize our days, and instill the importance of them becoming self-motivated. Can I do it? We shall see. I also plan to sit by the pool *smiling here*.

Singing is still first and foremost in my mind. There is a lady who sings at the winery where I work on Saturday. I won't post her name here because quite frankly I think she is terrible. She sings to pre-recorded music, no band...which is kind of what I am looking toward doing. She has a great stage persona, and the crowd eats her up. She doesn't really sing lyrics though, and thats what bugs me. She just sort of vamps through these songs saying the same thing over and over, and often she goes off-key or hits a note that is unsettling. There is one song she does sing that has actual lyrics, but whenever she sings it she totally screws it up...yet she is working. So, I think I can do this...

Anyway, it is an interesting life. I am sooo not going to complain. I am a student of each and every experience. Truthfully I fight tooth and nail, my subconscious says "No! No! I don't want to learn this!!!" But the Universe is relentless. I must learn.

Pictures From The Wedding

As promised, here are the awesome pictures from the August 9th Wedding of Scott and Charlie Creasy-Davis. My wonderful friends...

The Happy Couple






MoonGirl and Charlie







Mike and Pam









Sons of the Moon-Girl...Dante and Julian


Diane, Charlie and Tami

Lolita









Julian and MoonGirl

A Story About My Past

In 1986 I moved back to Escondido from my two year course at performing arts school. The teachers took me aside before I left and told me it would be wise if I chose another profession because it was obvious I was not cut out for the theater profession. They were right in one respect, I was very shy, not very ambitious, I couldn't sing and could not dance...truthfully, it did seem there was no hope. I had a small scholarship to join another performing arts college in New Mexico, but I was not able to come up with the funding for the entire program so I gave it up. I moved home with my sister, got a real job and decided to do some theater locally, just for fun.

The first show I was cast in was Sweeney Todd at the local Jr. College, which is an amazing show. The music is intense and difficult, the story is dark and bloody, and I was honored to be part of the cast. I was so proud of myself I couldn't stand it. (If you ever hear the music of Sweeney Todd you will know why). After that production I started auditioning at the local community theater, called Patio Playhouse. I was cast in one show, and then another...and soon enough I was part of the tight knit circle of actors and musicians there. We did a production of Little Shop of Horrors, which was also an amazing experience. The musical director was Charlie Creasy and his partner, Scott Davis, played Seymour. My other close friends were Pam and Mike, who started dating after the show and eventually married. (Pam used to be a nun, but decided to give real life a try) My other close friends were Dynell Leigh and Lolita Maddelena. In a production of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, I met a funny, skinny Italian boy named Bobby Di Clemente. It took awhile, but my friendship with Bobby grew to something more beautiful, we fell in love and were married in 1989. Lolita had a thing for Bobby, and I always felt bad about that...but Bobby and I were very close knit and our kinship was obvious.

As time went on, my story moved away from the theater. Our friends all went their separate ways...all except Scott and Charlie, they gay couple from Texas who have been my closest friends throughout the years. As some of you who read my blog know, Bobby (my husband) passed away after 10 years of marriage. We did not have a perfect marriage, and I will not pretend life was easy for us. Bobby was sick for a long time, and I was not a strong enough person to deal with all the sadness and pain that followed his illness. When he died, many friends made it to the funeral, and some did not. I never blamed any of the ones who could not make it, because truthfully, I was not able to make all the calls and although I had friends who DID make the calls, I don't know who was notified before or after the funeral. It was just a bad time for me.

Years have passed. I am raising Bobby's children the best I know how. I have remained closest friends with Scott and Charlie, who now live in Palm Springs. Two months ago the State of California lifted the ban on gay marriage and my two special friends set a date to be married. August 9th. The wedding was last weekend. All my theater friends from Patio Playhouse were going to be there. Lolita, Pam, Mike, Dynell, Diane and Tami...I couldn't believe it. I was actually really nervous. I had no reason to be. It was an amazing night. My friends had not changed. They were still right there, fun and supportive as always. Lolita found a wonderful man and married him. I was touched when she told him that she had a thing for Bobby but Bobby loved me and she had to step aside. Pam told me that I was the strongest person she knew and God put me in a position that she would not have been able to handle. (referring to Bobby's illness and death). Scott and Charlie's wedding was the most touching and heartfelt ceremony that I have ever witnessed. They waited 28 years for that moment, and it finally came. They looked like two teenagers who had just fallen in love. I can only wish for such an amazing relationship. When Charlie sends me some pictures, I will post them here. I could not wait to post this blog, I wanted to tell the world what an amazing weekend I had and about the wonderful people I met because I took the advice of my teachers and decided to have fun with theater instead of pursuing it professionally.

Hey Mom! I Live In A Neighborhood!

Yesterday was an awesome day. My sons have been playing with their buddies these last few days before (public) school starts. I helped my friend Kristine organize her son's pool party, then we hung out at the pool all day, BBQ'd, and drank margaritas...then later in the evening we roasted marshmallows and made s'mores. I have never made a s'more in my life. It was an amazing day.

Throughout the day my memory raced back to when I was a little LITTLE girl. We lived on a farm in a very rural area, my older sister hated me and my younger brother was a brat, so I watched PBS quite a bit. (Frankly, that was about the only channel we could pick up with our TV antenna). I watched Sesame Street, Zoom, Electric Company and Lilia's Yoga & You. My favorite show, however, was Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. Reminding you that I lived in the middle of nowhere, I was overly impressed with how many people lived in Fred Rogers' neighborhood. He had SO MANY friends! He could walk anywhere and visit places, he constantly had visitors, everyone was so friendly...I was smitten.

One day I went up to my Mom, and I said..."I want to live in a neighborhood," and quietly in my head I finished the sentence with "ideally right next door to Mr. Rogers". Unfortunately, not long after that I got my wish. My father passed away when I was 7, we sold the farm and all the equipment and moved to California. Over the years I have lived in many tract home developments and condo complexes. Now I am 42 years old, with kids of my own, we live in a lovely townhouse with tons of neighborhood kids and other friendly, interesting neighbors. I can walk down the sidewalk and meet friendly people from all over the world, babies who are learning to walk and talk, dogs who sniff and bark, kids riding scooters and crazy skateboards. We can go to the pool or the park and we are part of a community. Yesterday as I sat by the pool, it hit me. This is Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. This was my dream and now I am living it.

I am personally very grateful for Mr. Rogers and his show. It impressed upon my young mind that a friendly, stress-free environment where people communicate and help on another is truly beneficial and something to strive for. That image was burned into my subconscious, and I find that many people my age are very friendly and accommodating. Do you think we ALL watched Public Access TV when we were young? Chances are we did. Isn't it amazing how a childhood fantasy can turn out to be the future? Do you think that was Fred Rogers plan all along? I'm thinking YES. If you are a 40 something and have an inkling of what I am talking about, give me shout! I'd love to hear from you!

A Note About MoonGirl's House

Today's post will be about bringing MoonGirl back into focus and cleaning up her house. You might wonder...what's going on with you woman? These sporadic, crazy posts and long periods of nothingness, what is the real story?

The real story is, I found a life outside of my computer. Outside there are people; like my kids, my family, friends (who sincerely like me), music, sunshine and tons of other really cool stuff. I have someone to thank for this wake-up call. Ironically, it is one of my blogging friends. This person has built a close relationship with me over the past 6 months or so. This person (without my realizing it) stuck a crowbar between the cracks of my prison wall and has ever so gently broken me wide open. Yes, this IS a metaphor...so go with it. Then...my friend kind of...vanished. It was weird. At first I was a bit angry, but I looked around at the place this person brought me to, and I realized...I climbed out. The prison walls were taken down and I was free to go about my life like a normal person. Free.

FREE!

FREE!!!

So, what does this mean to my writing? What does this mean to my work at home, homeschooling, blogging, social networking lifestyle? Truth? I don't know. I still love to write. But I think I am going to go out and experience some life, and that way, I will have something to write about.

Thank you to those who care enough about me to read my blogs, link to my sites, ask me how my day went, send me comments and request assistance. Thank you. Thank you also to my friend with the crowbar. What a blessing you have been to me.