Writing as Therapy

It's really an amazing thing to write your memoirs from a place of peace. I have tried so many times to write in the past, and only became frustrated and depressed by my own story. I have had time to heal, to see my experiences as just that...experiences. There is no blame, no finger pointing...just me and the people I have spent my life with. I am now able to write about these events as an observer, not as a victim or an innocent bi-stander. Amazingly, the memories are clearer from that stand-point as well. My friend Bette (who is also writing her memoirs) was telling me the same thing the other day, she said, "I can see the paint on the walls and the color of the tile in the kitchen" as if it happened yesterday. We are ready. We are ready to look at our past and not only face it, but write about it, and explain our journey to others without anger, and with peace in our hearts.

I had an epiphany after writing about my childhood in chapter 2 yesterday. I was writing about my brother and I playing "runaways" when we were kids. This was my favorite game to play. All I wanted to do was run away from home and create my own world, my own place, and live off of whatever meager allowances I could find. It was a fantasy for years...and I realized I was STILL playing out that fantasy. My dream actually came true. I left my second marriage, I took off, bought my own house on MY terms, quit my job and started working at home and making my dreams come true in anyway I could. The pitfall was that I clinging to the challenge of living meagerly. I have loved this game from the time I was 6 years old, and I am still playing it. Ironically, I also want to live my life with "faith"...faith that God will provide. Well, the only way for that to come true is if I have NOTHING and God provides. Am I right? Well, my subconscious is playing it out that way. Yep. I discovered something really amazing about myself yesterday, and I realize that I can overcome my current obstacles by being CONSCIOUS of my thought patterns.

I am allowed to be successful without struggling and scraping and "surviving". It is okay to thrive. It is okay to have plenty. I am allowed to have an abundant life.

New Button

I added a new button to the right so everyone can listen to the music on my CD "LifeontheMoon". My disclaimer is that this was my first attempt at recording, I am much more of a stage performer. The high notes are "pitchy" and in some of the songs I can hear that I am not warmed up. I am my own worst critic, as you can tell, everyone else has given me positive feedback. Hope you enjoy it too! Just click "My Radio" it should play automatically with Windows Player.

Chapter 1

I finished Chapter One today, I had been dreading it, because it was the memory of when my Dad died. I have tried writing about this many times and it was extremely painful. But now I am in a place of peace and it is easier to talk about. I actually enjoyed writing this chapter and I found a way to incorporate some humor. I think it totally helped to have my friend, Bette, talk me into writing an outline first. For some reason this really helped me organize my thoughts, and put it all into perspective. Thanks Bette.

My Blog Lacks Aesthetics

I'm not really sure what some people are looking for in a blog, but that was a comment I received today on Linkreferral. I am all for constructive criticism, but truthfully my blog here is my writing outlet, I do have some cute pictures of my kids and stuff here...but mostly what you will find is my writing. I get that some people want pictures or "shiny things" to keep them occupied, but unfortunately my blog won't have a lot of that. I like pictures too, but when I am blogging I am mostly thinking about how the words PAINT a picture. I do thank that person for their comment, I will think on it, and maybe next time I blog I will go to Photobucket for a complimentary photo.

**UPDATE** OK, that person was absolutely right, the blog is better with a few pretty pictures. Thanks again!

An Exerpt from my Book

This is one of my strongest memories as a child. I hope you enjoy reading, it is an exerpt from my first chapter. Comments are welcome...

My sister would ride her bike down the country road, part of it was actually a hill, so she would cruise down at full speed...she loved stuff like that, she was a little daredevil. But one day, my cousin and I were playing out in the yard and we heard a strange noise in the distance. Oddly it sounded like a rooster crowing, and even though we lived in the country, no one in the vicinity owned a rooster. I heard it again and again, and it started sounding more and more human, like a cry for help. So I ran in and told my mother and grandmother I heard the strange noise...for whatever reason they drove up the street and found my sister on the side of the road. She had crashed her bike and was very banged up. They brought her home bleeding all over, and the craziest part was, she was missing her four front teeth. Between sobs my sister insisted she knew where the teeth were, she said they were there on the side of the road laying right next to one another. My mother thought she was hallucinating, surely the teeth were scattered about due to the impact and the way she had tumbled, but my sister pled with them, “please go get my teeth!” Sure enough my mom and grandma went back to the crash site and found my sister's teeth. All four of them, root and all, laying right there next to each other on the side of the road (my mom tells this story by tucking her thumb into her palm displaying four fingers). There was no blood on the teeth either, somehow she had hit her face in a perfect spot that just released the four teeth without breaking them. The story doesn't end there. I actually felt very bad for my sister, she was 14 and previously beauty queen material, which I hated her for. Now she was a bloody, toothless zombie lying in bed. I remember standing in the doorway of her bedroom just staring at her (in disbelief). I couldn't believe what had happened to her, I felt terrible even though I hated her guts. THE WORST part of the story is, that my sister was to be in my Uncle's wedding as the maid of honor within a week. Amazingly, she did not cancel out, she stood up there in her gorgeous dress, scabbed, swollen and toothless. My Uncle looked down at her as they were standing at the alter and said, “you look like 10 miles of bad road”. (he had the same wicked sense of humor as my dad) So, this is the story of my sister and why she got a plate of false teeth when she was 14.

Tell You What I Gotta Do

In October last year, I got the itch to record some of the songs I sing in karaoke. The idea of recording was to have a demo CD for other musicians to hear...like a sampler to use as an audition. Also I wanted to have something for my family, and I gave them as gifts for Christmas. It was cool, everyone was stoked! Anyway, as soon as I had my first 4 songs recorded, I went to Craigslist and e-mailed other musicians and passed around my demo. I met a guy name Mark Crafford, a drummer, and we have been fast friends ever since. Last weekend, Mark and I "jammed" with some other musicians and had a BLAST! The look on all our faces showed the same expression...1. surprise, and 2. THIS ROCKS! We have been talking ever since Sunday and it looks like we will be meeting again in about 10 days for another jam. Bill, who is a lead guitar player called me last night and he wants to play parties and coffee houses until we get established. Totally my speed. None of us are really interested in being a bar band.

Anyway, I have been looking for a (gulp) J.O.B. since working at home isn't providing enough income (read my other post at LifeontheMoon - link top right of this page). At first I was depressed and now I realize that it is more motivational for me to get out of the house, make some money, boost my self esteem, and get my name out there in the neighborhood. I also need to get serious about my appearance, my health, and mostly MY VOICE. If I am going to sing rock and roll, I want to look GOOD and sound GREAT!

Here's My To-Do List:
- exercise everyday, walk, do scrunches, join a jazzercise class or SOMETHING to that effect
- sing everyday
- learn more songs, memorize lyrics
- work on my image...meaning clothes, hair, body, and state of mind

Please go read my other blog

Hi friends! If you want to learn a very important life lesson, please go read my other blog at LifeontheMoon. I feel silly posting the same blog in two spots, this blog is both business and personal, so I posted it over there, and if you want to learn something very valuable (and get to know more about me in the process) click that link and check it out!

Try Not to Have TOOOO Much Fun

This video rocks! Today, I am a rock star!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Started Writing my Preface

Last night, I turned in my outline to Bette, and felt motivated enough to start writing my Preface. I dedicate the book to both of my Grandmothers, and I am also going to write about Indigos. I had a post about Indigos on my wordpress blog, but I was dumb and didn't save it in my computer. When they closed my wordpress blog (due to violation of TOS?) I lost that post. Live and learn, it was a good one too.

Anyway, Indigos are children that we typically label as ADHD or ADD. These children do not have a disability or a learning disorder or any other malfunction of the brain...they are here to teach us. Indigos are the future of our planet. They are showing us that our lives are not strictly about work, earning wages, retiring and living a miserable mundane life. They are here to show us how to have faith, how to look beyond our "responsibilities" and love regardless of what trials or ugliness comes our way. Do you know an Indigo? Do you have a child that doctors and teachers want to drug?

Indigos typically are uncomfortable in their bodies. They are edgy, they cry a lot, they seem "nervous", they are quick to anger, quick to tell a joke, they have weird allergies, they have trouble sleeping, they have separation anxiety, they hate school, they are extremely brilliant, they have photographic memories...to get along with an Indigo, you have to think outside of the box. THAT is WHY they are here. One time I heard a joke about a child with ADD, but I changed it to "Indigo".

An Indigo child tells his Dad a joke, he says, "Dad, how many Indigos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" The Dad smiles, "I don't know son, how many?" The Indigo replies, "Can I go ride my bike?"

E-mail me: MoonLaLa@slashmysearch.com
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So, This is What It's All About For Me

For the last few months I have been writing. I have been building blogs and social networking sites. I am working from home and homeschooling my kids. In a way, I have dropped out of society. Not really, I mean, I still go to the grocery and have jury duty, take my kids to the library and to piano lessons...so I get out, I'm just not a blue collar worker, and I don't believe the public school system has anything to offer my children.

My past is kind of a sad story, so I don't like to talk about it or write about it. People keep telling me to write a book, in fact, my friend Bette has practically challenged me to write about my life. She gave me a deadline to write my outline in two months. The idea of writing about my life would be to show people that bad times aren't always bad times. Sometimes we are making the bad times bad because of our thought patterns, sometimes we need the bad times to appreciate the better times, sometimes we are just learning what life is about.

I am still learning what life is about.

My parents think (as most parents do) that life is about working, saving and retiring. They say that getting old sucks, they cry about their aches and pains. They eat fast food and don't believe in vitamins or drinking water. Their doctors fill them up with prescriptions and they are worried about retirement. I am 41. I am no longer a youngster. It may seem that I have "pie in the sky" dreams...but at least I am middle-aged and I still dream. I eat pretty good, I take my supplements, I drink water and I enjoy walking around the block a few times a week. I am following my dreams. I am the boss of me, not some young guy who took a few college courses and has a Napoleon Complex. My children learn at their own pace, they have their own business too, and we spend all our days together working, eating, playing, planning, and supporting one another.

This blog will serve as a spill-over from my other blog. At www.LifeontheMoon.biz you will read about my business ventures and how I am helping others make money at home. This blog will be an outlet for me to help me write my book, and get ideas out in written form.

You can get to know more about me by bookmarking this blog and reading a few times a week. You can also join my Social Networking Site, and I can introduce you to a multitude of people who are my friends all over the world. (see the banners at the bottom of my blog) You can also e-mail me at MoonLaLa@slashmymail.com