If you don't believe in God, I hope you believe in something. To me, God and The Universe are one in the same, it just seems corny to refer to "the universe" all the time, and yet I'm not really religious, so to say "God" is also not in my comfort zone. When I refer to God, I am talking about the "all knowing and all loving", not the old man that sits on a throne and condemns people to hell.
So much for my disclaimer, here is my actual post:
I have gone through phases all my life, and each phase I am always asking God, "why am I going through this? Can't you just fix this and let me be happy? I need money, I need a relationship, I need (fill in the blank)" The truth is, God knows what you need in any given moment, and its not always the thing you think you need. As humans, we see things sort of one dimensionally...our perspective is skewed to believe that money is the answer, sex is the answer, a new car is the answer, a great career...etc...BUT (and its a big but!) God knows what you need RIGHT now. Here are my examples:
When I was 23, I was diagnosed with cancer. At the time I was smoking and taking birth control...a deadly combination. I was so angry that I would be stricken with such a horrible disease when I had just gotten married and wanted to start a life with my new husband. God knew that I needed to learn about the importance of my health. THAT was more important.
When I was 30, my husband was critically ill, we had one child already and we were poverty stricken because of his condition. I found out I was pregnant, and we had no idea how we were going to afford another child. I had the baby and we struggled financially for years afterward. My husband died 2 years later, and if it were not for my second child, my first born would be terribly lonely as an only child. He and his brother are best friends, and my younger son is my anchor. He is a precious individual, and he shows me unconditional love everyday. He was a gift. He was what we needed, and God knew that.
For the past two years I have been struggling in a relationship with someone I care about deeply. It has been weighing on my conscience, but I kept tossing the problem into the back seat and kept focusing on money and my freelance work at home projects. I kept asking God, "why can't I make more money, I am struggling, please help me make money!" my doorbell rang. It was my friend, paying me a surprise visit. I was shaken for a moment...why is he here? I don't need this right now, I have too much to deal with! Wrong. I did need to deal with it. It took a few days, But I was finally able to talk to my dear friend and relieve myself from the burden of guilt. I asked his forgiveness, and he told me there was nothing to forgive. I was worrying needlessly. I needed to hear that from him. I needed to speak my mind. God knew what I needed, and he brought me the solution.
I could go on and on with examples of my life experiences, and why things don't always turn out the way we think they should...and it's because as humans, we can't and won't see all the answers. Sometimes we just have to trust that there is a higher power than ourselves. That higher power is looking out for you. If you don't believe and you keep fighting the circumstances of your life instead of seeing the gifts...that's when you suffer. That is
hell my friends. Stop living in hell and look at each "problem" as a potential gift. What can you possibly learn from cancer? How about an opportunity to have better health? Learn from poverty, learn from death, learn from accidents...open your heart and your mind to possibility that someone bigger than you loves you very much. More than you will ever know.
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